Self care is simply what we do for ourselves. Of course, this answer can be frustrating as it fails to help one understand how self care works or why it’s important. To help answer those questions, I like to use an example.

How self care it works

Imagine every person has two cups. One cup begins each day with water in it and is for giving water. The other cup begins empty and is for receiving water. Throughout the day, you will pour out water as you expend energy. Whether you’re working, taking care of a sick relative, or chasing children, you are using your water. As you play with children or take care of people, or check on a friend, we are pouring our water into their cup. You may find that you receive water from others as well. At the end of the day, the cup that began empty switches and will be the next day’s giving cup. As you rest for the night (if you are able to) you will gain some additional water. The quality of your rest is important though, because if you rest well, you will replenish more than if you sleep poorly or too short a time. In order to have enough water for the next day, it may be necessary to pour some water into your own receiving cup so you can have it tomorrow.

There are a many conclusions that can be easily drawn from this example, but I will briefly explore three that I find directly connect to self care. One is that there is a limit to what can one person can do, as shown by giving each person a scarce resource that must be spent carefully. Another is that even pleasant or good activities such as care-taking or parenting, require water and must be accounted for. The last is that sometimes it is necessary to fill your cup with your own water. These lessons can help us to understand why self care is so important.

Why self care is important

While you are thinking through your life and seeing all of the things that need water from your cup, it can be easy to think of how crucial your input is. You are right! All of those things are important, and this is the reason you have allowed yourself to become so exhausted. It is also true that if you are not careful with how you use your water, you won’t have enough to give to everything you need. So you will have to be intentional about giving yourself some of the water you need to take care of important things. As parents, spouses, or even as employees, we know that many of our responsibilities need more than one day’s worth of attention. To make sure that we have enough water for the most important aspects of our lives every day, we often need to be intentional about giving to ourselves ahead of time.

So this is why self care is important: because you are a provider of water to others, and if you are depleted, you may not have enough to give to something that really needs it.

We can help

I encourage everyone who finds themselves depleted to think about how they can take care of themselves. There are different ways to do this, and it has been true for many of my clients that counseling has been part of this. Even if you live far away or have limited access to a car, counseling is available over the phone or by video conferencing and I would be happy to talk with you.